no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
