i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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