I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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