dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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