the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
