He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
