Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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