How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize