i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I bet he comes in French.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
