I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize