some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize