it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
