Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
