no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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