WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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