I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
