She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
