also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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