My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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