we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
