I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
