I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
