Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
