do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
