All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
