I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
