1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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