The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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