there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Enjoy the penises
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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