Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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