I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
