Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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