I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize