Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
