and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
