I think i peed on brittanys purse
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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