So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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