Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
