She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
