eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
