At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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