I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize