Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
