Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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