So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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