At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
