dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
