My first STD was from a foam party
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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