I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize