Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize