What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
