her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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