Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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