u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
They have beer where we have blood.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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