I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
