He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
