You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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