So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
