My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
