Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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