Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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