Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
