at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
