why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
